Thursday, November 13, 2008

In Goodness We Trust















Oh, you better watch out, you better not cry
You better not pout I’m telling you why
Atheists are coming to town …

There’s a new ad campaign coming to a town near you … smack dab on the heels of Barack Obama’s victorious campaign. Coincidence? Perhaps not, however, in Washington D.C. (our nation’s capital of all places) its citizens will begin to see city buses displaying the Atheist Message: "Why believe in a god? Just be good for goodness' sake."

"We are trying to reach our audience, and sometimes in order to reach an audience, everybody has to hear you," said Fred Edwords, spokesman for the American Humanist Association, whose $40,000 provocative holiday ad campaign is scheduled to run well into December. "Our reason for doing it during the holidays is there are an awful lot of agnostics, atheists and other types of non-theists who feel a little alone during the holidays because of its association with traditional religion."

Awwww, how sad! Well hey, I’ve got the perfect solution for you. If you’re feeling so alone, right now the Airlines could use a little company, and I’m sure they’d be very happy to fly your desolate derriere to one of the following top five “non-theists” nations:

Country - Total Pop - % Atheist
Sweden.....8,986,000...50 - 85%
Vietnam...82,690,000.....81%
Denmark....5,413,000...50 - 80%
Norway.....4,575,000...50 - 72%
Japan....127,333,000.....65%

Oh, and by the way, on your way there, you just might want to practice singing one of the following “non-theist” holiday classics:

It’s beginning to look a lot like Atheists
Everywhere you go
Take a look at the Darwin fish
Your fav-o-rite one to catch
With unicorns in pink and all aglow

Rudolph the red blooded atheist
With cold blood that’ll turn to blue
And if you’d ever felt it
You’d believe in nothing too

Godless you merry atheist
There’s nothing there but space
Remember there’s no savior
Your all free to disgrace

Jingle Bell - Why the Hell
We ringing that thing again
Oh what fun it is to hate
Things we can’t comprehend … Oh

And I heard Reverend Wright exclaim, as he rode out of site: “Goodness Damn America – We’re coming home to roost tonight!"

4 comments:

Andy said...

I guess that about says it all - interesting how so few have so much to say. I was wondering - where did our rights go?

Red Dakini said...

This is ridiculous! Christmas is a holiday based on a religion. These days everyone is so fast to be offended and demand silly changes. Couldn't their energy be better spent? I'm glad guys like you exist to ground these loopy ideas.

Red Tide said...

I guess the atheists serve a purpose, the more they try to deny that there is a God, the more Christians get stirred up. This will definitely have a counter effect.

Tina R.F.Hemond said...

It appears as if they feel left-out - if they didn't want to be religious - perhaps celebrating the holiday in an anti-God way(note Christmas attire in campaign) does more to draw attention to the holiday itself, rather than the shock value the morons intended.